So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
