what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
