But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Randomize
