Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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