His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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