went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
