I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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