New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize