dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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