I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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