I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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