Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
