Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
