I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
