She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
