K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
worst night to have a conscience
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize