something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the day after is always just damage control
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
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I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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