One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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