She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
