woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
