i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
