Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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