Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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