My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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