dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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