that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
