we're blogging at a bar
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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