i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
