I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
