I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
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cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize