Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
barbara walters just said penis...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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