He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The beer is more important than you right now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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