There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
