and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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