Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
