i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
