Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
