Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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