you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
