i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Randomize
