I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
