it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
