Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
