She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
