people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's always time for handjobs
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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