it hurts more in the daytime
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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