Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
two words...techno handjob
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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