I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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