I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
