Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
