dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My dick has a subreddit
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
