I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
