as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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