WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
