so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
