Apparently you make a good broom.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize