If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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