in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
