I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
