I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize