fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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